Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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