I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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