You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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