Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize