I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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