Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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