she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize