Me. At least after what I've been through.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize