Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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