I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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