I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize