No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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