I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
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And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
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I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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