When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize