He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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