margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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