Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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