I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize