I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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