see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize