When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize