Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize