sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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