can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize