Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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