Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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