what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize