that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
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at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
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im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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