on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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