I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize