it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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