3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
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You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
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I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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