Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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