At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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