Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize