Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
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Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
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I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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