matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
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