He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize