i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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