I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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