NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
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you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
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If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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