Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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