Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize