I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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