I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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