I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize