I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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