Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize