I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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