When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You've changed since you got that strap on
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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